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Recently, my husband and I were having a late night conversation about our family. I thanked him for being the spiritual leader that he is. He responded with his usual sweet, “Thanks, babe!”

And then he said: “It can be really hard sometimes.”

It shouldn’t have startled me. I mean, of course it’s hard. He has the tremendous responsibility of leading our family on Christ’s path. And that responsibility is about to grow with the (any day now!) birth of our first child. I’m sure that, right now, the reality of this is weighing on him more heavily than normal.

So why did it startle me, then? I think it’s because, in general, my husband appears to shoulder this responsibility effortlessly. As a result, it’s a little too easy for me to forget that his role in our home is one that can bring many struggles, sacrifices, and hard decisions. His words brought these truths to the forefront of my mind.

I began to wonder, am I doing enough to support my husband in his role as spiritual leader? As wives, I believe our roles are incredibly important (not to mention difficult!) as well. We have an amazing ability to contribute to the spiritual health of our husbands, children, and homes. It’s important to remember that Christ-centered support, love, and respect do not just happen, we have to be active and intentional each day to support our husbands in a way that is glorifying to God.

Here are some things I believe will help us to better support our husbands in their roles as spiritual leaders:

Pray for your husband.

The Power of a Praying Wife

As you go through your day, keep your husband regularly in your prayers. Just as you and I do not have what it takes to be godly wives on our own, neither do our husbands have what it takes to be godly spiritual leaders. We all need God if we are to overcome our sinful natures for even an hour, much less an entire day.

As I’ve mentioned, Stormie Omartian’s book The Power of a Praying Wife has helped me in my prayer life for my husband. When we first got married, I didn’t know how to pray to support him. Stormie’s book really helped me to get focused and to become purposeful with my prayers.

Work daily to improve your relationship with God.

If you are actively pursuing Christ, then you will be much better equipped to support your husband. Read your Bible regularly, pray all day long, get involved in a Bible study, listen to and watch edifying things, do everything you can to abide in Christ (John 15:4). As you strengthen your relationship with God, you will become a better support and will strengthen your husband as he works to lead your family.

Demonstrate respect to your husband (and teach this to your children).

There are so many ways we can demonstrate respect to our husbands (and just as many that communicate disrespect!). Always discuss important issues with him before making a decision. If you have an opportunity to get involved with a new activity, don’t just say yes. Talk to your husband first. It isn’t a matter of getting his permission, it’s a matter of showing him that you honor his opinion, know he cares for your well-being, and believe he will give you sound advice. Don’t undermine his authority in the home (contradicting him in front of the kids or overriding him when he says no, for example). Don’t talk badly about him to others. If you feel that you both need prayers in a certain area, ask him if it’s okay to share and then go to a trusted prayer partner rather than sharing secrets with friends at lunch.

Acknowledge that his role is difficult and praise him for his hard work.

From my discussion with my husband the other night, I think it would go a long way for them to occasionally hear us say: “Your job as spiritual leader of this family is a tough one, but you handle it amazingly well. Thank you for all that you do!” And be specific. Did he suggest a family Bible study after dinner? Make sure you let him know you enjoyed it. If he prays with your kids, tell him how much that means to you. Does he go to work each day to provide for your family? Thank him for that. Have your kids draw him pictures or write him notes for when he gets home. Maybe it just says that he’s an awesome daddy, but I feel certain he would appreciate reading it! Make sure he knows that his hard work does not go unnoticed or unappreciated.

Encourage his relationship with God.

If your husband isn’t getting quiet time with God, do everything you can to help him make this happen. Does he want one night a week to join a men’s group at church? Encourage him in that. Just as you need to remain close to God to support your husband, he needs to remain close to God to lead your family.

Love and respect him even when he fails.

Recognize that your husband is only human and will make mistakes. When this happens, communicate to him your unconditional love and respect. Make sure he knows that you still believe in him and still support him, even on his hardest days. Be his soft place to land so that he knows he can always come to you, even when he has failed.

Let’s use our God-given abilities to help and support our husbands, and let’s chase after Christ together!

How do you support your husband in his spiritual leadership? I would love to hear from you in the comments below!Supporting Your Husband’s Spiritual Leadership

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16 Comments

  1. Some great tips here! Being a spiritual leader of the home can be such a large responsibility and it is so important that we encourage and inspire our husbands in their role! It’s so important to stand by him as he learns the ropes and always encourage him in his spiritual decisions…it’s not easy being the leader! 😀 I also found the Power of a Praying Wife to be of great help! I actually should read through it again soon. It’s such a blessing to pray for your husband.

    • Bree Reply

      Thanks for this comment! I love that: Stand by him as he learns the ropes and always encourage him in his spiritual decisions. I definitely believe that our support as wives can make such a difference to our husbands. I agree, it is a blessing to be able to pray for our husbands! I’m so glad that one of my friends told me about the Power of a Praying Wife early on in my relationship with my husband. It changed (for the better) the way I prayed!

  2. Lovely post. I love Power of a Praying Wife! Such an awesome resource for Christian women. 🙂

    • Bree Reply

      It’s one of my favorites, too! I was so glad my friend told me about it before my husband and I got married. It has made such a difference in my prayer life. Thanks for the comment!

  3. This is a great article. My husband said something similar to me last night. He rarely admits that being him is hard work, but it made me stop and think about what I can do to support him better. Timely read! I shared with all of my tweeps 😉

    • Bree Reply

      Thanks for reading and sharing, Sarah! So glad that we can support our husbands and each other! 🙂

  4. This post has got me thinking. So many different ways to encourage. I’m not the best at encouraging others, or even myself, but it makes all the difference in relationships. Visiting from the Party at My Place link up!

    • Bree Reply

      I’m not always the best at it either. I think it’s something that we have to do intentionally since I know, for me at least, it won’t just happen naturally. Glad you took time to visit!

  5. Wonderful tips and all are so crucial in affirming and validating our husband’s role as spiritual leader in the home. I read Stormie’s book years ago and it too helped me know how to pray for my husband. Glad you were back today at Party at My Place. Always a pleasure having you.

    • Bree Reply

      It’s been such a great book for me as a newly-wed. For me, it was a huge transition to learn how to purposefully pray for my husband. Thanks for hosting at Party at My Place! 🙂

  6. This is so great Bree – it is an area that we need to support our men in. And prayer is the way to start, for husbands, for wives, for families… Love it!

    Thanks for sharing with the #CozyReadingSpot

    • Bree Reply

      Thank you, Marissa! I agree, prayer is so important. There are times when we feel like nothing is under our control, but we can always choose to pray!

  7. Hi Bree! I’ve seen your pins floating around Pinterest for a while now, but this is the first time I’ve clicked over and boy, am I glad I did! What an excellent post! Thank you SO much for the encouragement to remember how difficult it can be to lead, and to support our men as leaders in our families. I’m heading for your home page to read more as soon as I finish this comment lol… so glad I finally visited your blog. I’ll be back! 😀

    • Thank you!! That means so much to me! 🙂 I can’t wait to visit your site! Thanks for taking the time to read and comment!

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