As a Christian wife and mom, it seems like there’s always room for improvement, doesn’t it? We read about ways to improve our marriages, our homes, our families, and ourselves. We add some things here and take away some things there, trying to find that perfect balance in the many areas that need our daily attention: Faith, marriage, children, homemaking, ministry, health, work, friends, and so on. We strive, we fight, we work, always seeking to do our absolute best each day. We hear messages geared toward Christian women that are meant to be helpful but sometimes sound- to our ears- like we’re just not trying hard enough and we’re just not doing enough, because if we tried hard enough and did enough, our families would be thriving. Most of the time we welcome the helpful words but, sometimes, the amount of advice and tips and checklists can feel overwhelming.…
When my husband and I first got married, we hoped to be able to live only on his income and just consider my income to be extra money. We had a loose idea of how we would put this into play but hadn’t really worked on the specifics. We knew that God would provide while also expecting us to be good stewards of His incredible provision. Then less than two months after getting married, we moved to a different state (meaning I left my job of 7 years) and, two months after that, I found out I was pregnant with our first child! It was officially time to work out the details to make my dream of being a stay-at-home wife and mom a reality! *Update: We’ve been living on one income for the past two years now and are still living happily and frugally while using every suggestion on this…
Before I met my husband, I was single for seven years. Not months. Years.
At the time, I felt like those years were wasted. I watched as everyone around me was getting married, having children, and seemingly moving forward with their lives.
And I felt like I was just standing still. Even as I finished my Master’s Degree, built my career, and bought my first house, I felt like I was missing out on life.
My heart’s desire was for marriage and a family.
I didn’t understand why God seemed to be holding out on me. Why would He put such a strong desire within me and then ask me to remain single?
So many things change when you first get married!
You and your husband are suddenly a family, just the two of you, separate from your parents.
We all know the Bible calls on our husbands to leave their parents and cleave unto their wives (Genesis 2:24). But this leaving and cleaving doesn’t mean that they aren’t still a part of their larger families as well. Their parents will always be their parents (although the roles and interactions definitely have to change after marriage).
So this reality brings with it a whole new role for newlywed women: Daughter-in-law.
Picture this scenario in your mind (it likely won’t take too much effort, since we’ve all been this woman at some point or another):
The day starts out with you already running late.. and by the end of it, you still haven’t caught up.
You really meant to vacuum the floors and get the bathrooms cleaned today (again) but just didn’t quite get to it. And that errand you promised your husband you’d run will have to wait until tomorrow. The laundry is still piled up, as are the dishes.
But, all in all, you feel like you did the best you could today. You tried your hardest and did what you could. You pray that you’ll do better tomorrow but accept that you’re only human and there’s only so much you can do.
Now, your husband could respond to your efforts in one of two ways:
Ever light a lovely new candle that smells so good to you only to have your hubby ask what smells so bad? Ever make one of your favorite dinners only to realize that your husband isn’t quite so crazy about it? Both of those things have definitely happened in our home more than once! It’s interesting, to say the least, when you get married and find that your husband likes some things that you don’t and that he dislikes some of your favorite things. Our tendency is to prioritize what we enjoy the most. One of the easiest ways to serve our husbands, however, is to do the opposite: Learn their likes and dislikes and make an effort to do the things that they enjoy. In her book, A Wife After God’s Own Heart, author Elizabeth George tells a story about a woman who was cleaning out her recipes and getting…