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Ever light a lovely new candle that smells so good to you only to have your hubby ask what smells so bad?
Ever make one of your favorite dinners only to realize that your husband isn’t quite so crazy about it?
Both of those things have definitely happened in our home more than once!
It’s interesting, to say the least, when you get married and find that your husband likes some things that you don’t and that he dislikes some of your favorite things.
Our tendency is to prioritize what we enjoy the most. One of the easiest ways to serve our husbands, however, is to do the opposite: Learn their likes and dislikes and make an effort to do the things that they enjoy.
In her book, A Wife After God’s Own Heart, author Elizabeth George tells a story about a woman who was cleaning out her recipes and getting rid of ones that she didn’t think she’d use anymore. They weren’t her favorites, and she thought it was time to replace them with new ones.
While she was doing this, her husband came in and looked at the pile of discarded recipes on the table.
Not realizing that she was getting ready to throw those recipes away, he started talking about how much he liked each one and the memories he had from those special meals.
The wife realized then that she was about to throw out recipes to some of her husband’s favorite dinners. So, instead of throwing them away, she chose to schedule one night a week to make the dishes that her husband liked so much.
I love that!
One of the easiest ways to brighten your husband’s day is to learn his likes and dislikes and put some effort into doing some small things that he enjoys.
I’m not saying you have to do every single little thing around the house to according to how your husband would want it (you and the children matter, too!). But noticing some of his likes and dislikes and honoring those in the house can be a wonderful blessing to him.
Here are some examples from our family:
My husband loves onions.
Before we got married, I liked them too, but I didn’t make any special effort to use them in the meals I made.
Once I found out how much he likes them, I started incorporating onions into our meals as often as possible. I know it’s such a small thing, but I really think that it shows I am thinking of him and care about his preferences.
On the flip side, my husband is not a fan of oatmeal. I think: What’s not to like? It’s warm, yummy, and keeps you full for a long time.
So I made it for him for breakfast one day (the good kind with blueberries, brown sugar, and cinnamon!). He was very sweet but mentioned that it wasn’t his favorite.
I thought, surely, there must’ve been something wrong with that batch because it’s just so yummy!
So about a week later, I tried again (I never said I was quick at this learning process!). Same result.
Easy solution: I don’t make him oatmeal for breakfast anymore. Problem solved!
One last one: My husband and I prioritize chores differently. I like how the room looks when the bed is made. So that is one thing I try to do first thing in the morning.
I asked him once what things around the house make him feel like the house is clean. He responded that he feels like the house looks cleaner when the carpets have those nice lines from the vacuum cleaner. Again, such a small thing, but now I put vacuuming on the same priority level as making the bed.
So, how do you find out your husband’s likes and dislikes?
Well, there’s super-secret way to gain this information. Ready for it?
Seriously, it’s that simple. Just ask him his preferences and, odds are, he will gladly tell you!
And, make sure not to take his answers personally. It’s not a reflection on you, it’s just that we all have different tastes and preferences.
Once you find out a few things, try them out!
Don’t get down if he doesn’t mention your efforts right away. It doesn’t mean he doesn’t appreciate you and all that you do. Just know that you are making a special effort to serve your hubby and that is what matters!
Also, I’m not against a little shameless compliment fishing (such as: Hey awesome hubby of mine, did you like the extra onions I put in the soup tonight? Or: My darling husband, what do you think about the lovely vacuum marks in the carpet? Haha!)!
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So how about you? What are some things you do to brighten your husband’s day? I’d love it if you’d share in the comments below!